| Friends Only |
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| 06:01am 15/09/2010 |
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mood:  accomplished music: Ultravox - Vienna
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Any particularly personal entries are Friends Only.
Please comment to be added. |
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Read 18 - Post |
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| Hairy Hairs |
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| 07:08pm 31/05/2008 |
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mood:  amused music: Craig Charles on 6 Music
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I got Craig to dye my hair the colour of a lovely slimy pond. I like it!
He only did it when I text Jon Holmes on 6 Music and got him to read out a message that said, "Jon, please tell Craig to get off World of effing Warcraft and put the blue & green dye on my hair. Elves are not real but my hairs are!"
I'm a couple of days behind with your journals. Will catch up in a bit. |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| 'Brand Film Canned' |
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| 12:01pm 30/05/2008 |
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mood:  annoyed music: The Supremes - Where Did Our Love Go
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I've just posted the following in my ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) russell_brand community, but I thought I'd post it here as well because it really irritates me.
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Brand film canned - - source: chortle.co.uk
Russell wants his past kept secret
Russell Brand has dropped plans to make his chequered life story into a film.
The comic says he’s afraid a movie version of his warts-and-all autobiography, My Booky Wook, might tarnish his image with the American public, just as his Hollywood career is taking off.
The film – which was to have been made by 24 Hour Party People director Michael Winterbottom – would have highlighted his drug addiction and sexual debauchery in a way that might not have played will with conservative Middle America.
‘I’m not going to make the Booky Wooky into a film any more because then people in America will learn what my past is like,’ he told MTV News.
‘[Of course], people that can be bothered to read will know that I have a chequered past. Fingers crossed, we give them a book I’ve written already; I don’t have to do no more homework!’
Brand had previously said he wanted Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe to play the younger version of him, ‘But I thought he wouldn't be able to take all the drink. Or the drugs or fraternising with women. So I thought I should do it.’
He had also lined up a part for Oasis's Noel Gallagher as ‘seedy homosexual’ and had hoped to get parts for David Walliams and Michael Palin.
Instead, Brand’s next movie role will be in the comedy Get Him To The Greek, where he plays another wayward rock star – just as he did in the recent Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
‘I’m going to play rock stars for the first 10 years of my career, and then I’m going to move on, and I’m only going to play mailmen for the next 10 years,’ he said. ‘It’s going to be fun.’
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What do you all think of this? I'm very disappointed. A 24 Hour Party People-style film of his life would have been brilliant. I wouldn't have even expected it to get a major cinema release in the US anyway because he's not famous enough there. It's not as if the American press couldn't easily find out about his past. Re:Brand is available all over the Internet, and surely there's a chance that some researchers, journalists or film dicretors will actually read his autobiography or even take on the shockingly complicated task of doing a Google/Wikipedia search on him.
Along with his natural talent, his past is what has motivated him and got him to where he is now. Surely it's an impossible task to censor information that has already been made public. I wonder which members of his newly acquired management/PR army convinced him to axe the film, because he was clearly very excited about it. Fuck "conservative Middle America". I know he wants more fame and success, but is he willing to hide who he is to get it? |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| I Saw Public Enemy! |
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| 09:03am 27/05/2008 |
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mood: ecstatic music: Public Enemy - Public Enemy No. 1 (in my head)
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I have bruised ribs from the barrier at the front and I am still deaf in one ear, but I went to one of the most amazing gigs of my life last night! I was right at the front for Public Enemy in Manchester Academy, and I'm still ecstatic. I keep waking up thinking about it. It's the 20-year anniversary of It Takes A Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back, and they performed the whole album plus some additional hits and a new track. The anti-racist, anti-war message from It Takes A Nation of Millions... is just as relevant as ever.
So many cool things happened. Perhaps I'll blog about it coherently later. Right now I'm just typing to stop myself bouncing off the walls and giggling. I felt like a thirteen-year-old last night. Flavor Flav touched me a couple of times, chucked his bottle of water all over me when I shouted for it, and when I stuck my tongue out at him he did it back. OK, I agree it's a very primitive way of communicating with a person, but it'll do for me! The actual, genuine Flavor Flav, still wearing his big clock and everything! He launched himself a massive distance into the crowd a couple of times, too. I can't believe I was in close enough proximity to touch him and Chuck D. Surely that's close enough to catch some of their fearless coolness, or at least some of the wonderful germs from their spit. Bomb Squad (the people who produced the album originally) did a DJ set of the most fantastic underground stuff before PE came on stage, too. I could have happily danced to that for hours.
I'm so lucky to have seen Run DMC and now Public Enemy. Proper hip-hop icons. If the atmosphere at this year's Glastonbury is half as good as last night, I'll be elated for months. I don't remember the last time I was this happy. I have no idea what I've just typed. I'm just trying to empty my poor, baffled little mind. SQUEEEE! Even tea and Radio 4 has failed to calm my giggly, jittery wonderment. I slept for two days before the gig and I've no idea how tired I'll be when I come down from this adrenaline, but I don't care! Take that, body! I win! |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Free Drugs in Japan! |
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| 10:34am 26/05/2008 |
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mood: amused music: The Bees - Chicken Payback
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Source: http://news.lycos.co.uk/querkies/080526085945.o4dvwbbr.xml.html
Passenger carrying drugs in Tokyo as dog fails sniff test
An unsuspecting passenger who flew to Tokyo is carrying one million yen's worth of cannabis compliments of customs authorities after a sniffer dog failed a test, officials said Monday.
An officer at Narita International Airport on Sunday stuffed 142 grams (five ounces) of the drug into the side pocket of a randomly selected black suitcase coming off an overseas flight so that the animal could detect it.
"The dog couldn't find it and the officer also forgot which bag he put it in," a customs office spokeswoman said.
"If by some chance passengers find it in their suitcase, we're asking them to return it," she said.
The 38-year-old officer was quoted by the spokeswoman as saying: "I knew that using passengers' bags is prohibited, but I did it because I wanted to improve the sniffer dog's ability."
He was reprimanded by the head of customs at Narita.
"This case was extremely regrettable. I would like to deeply apologise," said the airport's customs chief Manpei Tanaka.
The cannabis, which has a street value of one million yen (9,680 dollars), was in a metal box wrapped with newspapers.
Japan strictly prohibits both hard and soft drugs, with people imprisoned for possession of even small amounts of cannabis. |
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| Which is best? |
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| 07:20am 26/05/2008 |
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mood: amused music: "There's somebody at the door!"
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a) Matt Berry doing, "There's somebody at the door!" in The IT Crowd:
b) Isy Suttie doing, "Jeff's doing a joke!" in Peep Show?
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Party |
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| 02:06am 25/05/2008 |
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mood: amused music: silence at last
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I went to Craig's grandad's party this evening. Half of Bootle seemed to be there. Initially I was fairly demure (shut up, those of you who actually know me) and I managed to field off the many questions about when Craig and I are getting married, which university I am at and what job I do.
The little kids there were quite sweet, in the sense that none of them were sick on me and they only screamed unnecessarily loudly twice. The first occasion was when some slugs were located in the garden, and the second was when a toy rabbit was thrown over a fence at three large, angry dogs. I spent ages downloading and transferring [arguably inappropriate] music onto Craig's six-year-old sister's MP3 player and chatting to Craig's mum. I haven't spoken to her for such a length of time in the four years I've known Craig, so that was lovely. We listened to My Humps by Fergie and bonded over our hatred of misused apostrophes.
When it got a bit later, practically everyone else there was absolutely wasted, which would have been fine if they weren't a) driving and b) needlessly aggressive when drunk. Even the lovely ten-year-old boy was drunk on a mixture of Carlsberg and some vile neon pink concoction that looked and smelled like an indigestion remedy. Anyway, after most of the drunk people drove themselves and their kids home, I was left with the drunken, aggressive older men. I was made to download six different versions of fucking Danny Boy (they weren't even original in their drunkenness) by an utter tit who was never satisfied because none of the versions were by Roy Orbison. None of them understood the concept of the Internet, which is fine, but they were also far too drunk and belligerent to understand that it wasn't my fault that the one person on Limewire who actually shares music by Daniel O'Donnell has a wanky dial-up modem made from old spoons and he/she keeps logging off erratically, presumably to smack him/herself in the head with it as punishment for having such appalling taste in music.
The tit I mentioned earlier (the one who had an unhealthy interest in Roy Orbison) started whinging about the way "modern" comedians like Jack Dee and Peter Kay (?!) don't tell actual jokes, and saying Roy "Chubby" Brown is great, as are the other sexist, racist comedians he watches in Blackpool. Then he tried to catch me out by asking immensely bizarre questions that he assumed I couldn't answer, which gave me the opportunity to make him look quite stupid in front of people. Yes, I know what a mangle is - I'm 23, not an idiot. A mangle?! He was a couple of generations too young to have feasibly used a one himself. He somehow managed to confuse his knowledge of the existence of mangles with genuine intelligence. He later got very aggressive and called his very frail, elderly wife a "fucking dickhead" for saying she liked the oven and wished she had one like it because it wasn't as difficult to clean as theirs. She'd just had a major operation could hardly walk, and she was too polite/afraid answer back when he shot some incredibly cruel comments her way.
Before I left, I spent half an hour having a big argument with Craig's grandad because I said Cliff Richard was a homophobic idiot for going on anti-gay marches. Incidentally, Cliff Richard and being gay did come up in the conversation (I'm sure you can see why) - I didn't just introduce the subject for a laugh. At 2am I got into my car and drove up and down the bypass listening to Public Enemy and grinning to myself because I don't regret one thing about this evening. I realised that I would have only felt ashamed of myself if I had shut up when people tried to intimidate me, so I will go to bed happy tonight. I've got a mug of tea, a recording of the Eurovision Song Contest and the knowledge that I am not a racist, homophobic fuckwit. |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| Writer's Block: Nicknames + Sexy Veggies |
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| 03:21am 22/05/2008 |
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mood:  sleepy music: The Sisters of Mercy - No Time To Cry
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My nickname in school for quite a while was Moog and sometimes Moogalina. I was scribbling a load of rubbish in GCSE English instead of doing any work, and I accidentally wrote "Moog" instead of "Mog". Mog/Moggy is slang for cat around here, by the way. My friends and I liked the look of the word, so it stuck. I was quite happy with that because it made me think of cats and synthesisers.
Lisa Edelstein and Thom Yorke Have My Vote for the
Sorry, Russell Brand. I had to support the sexy vegans on the list! |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| It's actually happened. Someone call the police. |
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| 12:16am 03/05/2008 |
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mood:  stoned & in deep shock music: Wu-Tang Clan - Method Man (Skunk Mix)
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Fuck me! This is going to be a, "Where were you when Kennedy was assassinated?" thing. Where were you when you found out Boris Johnson had become London Mayor? |
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Read 14 - Post |
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| 09:45am 28/04/2008 |
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mood:  morose music: Radiohead - Nude
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This has happened again. Another of the mice is being euthanised today, for the same reason. 5pm.
UNCAGED
Animal experimentation involves the incarceration of animals - which itself causes intense psychological distress - who are then poisoned, mutilated, given diseases and killed. It is arguably the most severe form of systematic violence in the modern world. Other terms for animal experimentation include 'vivisection', 'animal testing', and 'animal research'. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| RIP Chairman Humph + My Depressing Playlist |
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| 09:06pm 26/04/2008 |
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mood: depressed music: Siouxsie & The Banshees - Dear Prudence
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I am very sad to hear that Humphrey Lyttelton has died. It was only recently that I went to Leeds with ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) lorcas_novena to see him on the I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue tour, and although he was frail, he still played the trumpet at the end to a packed auditorium of cheering fans.
BBC Article
For any other fans of Clue, Radio 4, etc., Jeremy Hardy and Mark Steel have just released tickets for Manchester tour dates at the end of the year. I happened to be awake all last night, attempting to stop crying and start sleeping, when the e-mail announcing those tour dates came through. I have front row seats for Jeremy and second row seats for Mark. Jeremy Hardy makes me so happy. I wish he knew. I gave him a hug at Glastonbury last year, but you can't express that much admiration and gratitude with one muddy hug, unfortunately.
I have a question for you all. It is an entirely cheerless question, but that, my morbid friends, is the idea.
What songs or albums do you listen to when you feel depressed or hopeless?
Over the last few days I've been listening to a lot of early Bowie and Lou Reed, but I've been thinking about which other songs and albums that I have fixated on when depressed at other times during my life, many of which I still return to.
( My List )
I'm sure I could think of many more if I sat here for a while. So, what's on your depressing playlist? Clearly, looking at mine, whether or not the music is considered cheesy or clichéd is entirely irrelevant. I'm just interested in what you're drawn to when you feel the way I do right now. Any uploads would be greatly appreciated, too.
***This post is constantly being edited. I keep remembering songs that should have been on it.*** |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| 'Ello |
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| 07:37pm 22/04/2008 |
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mood:  contemplative music: REM - Sing For The Submarine
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'Ello! I apologise for having effed right off from LiveJournal for a while (with the exception of moderating my communities). I haven't been checking my e-mail or my phone much either. Sorry again. Several crappy things have been happening in my personal life over the last couple of months that would have been inappropriate to discuss on here. Of course, that is not because I don't trust you. It is because I prefer to build it all up into a huge, seething ball of resentment which will one day explode and obliterate some poor bastard sitting opposite me on the bus.
Since my last update, I have watched The Wonder Years a lot, I read Travels With My Aunt by Graham Greene, bought Accelerate by REM, Vampire Weekend's eponymous album, Attack Decay Sustain by Simian Mobile Disco, Council Estate of Mind by Skinnyman and The Edge of The Eighties, which is a fantastic 3 CD compilation. Have a look at this tracklisting! Brilliant stuff.
After having stayed in bed for several weeks, a few days ago I went to the cinema to watch a French film called Water Lilies, which was incredibly beautiful, then I went to a dubstep night called Bass Camp and took quite a lot of drugs. That was also beautiful. Then I had to go back to bed. Now I am here.
So, come on, update me on your lives! Leave a comment about what's been happening or links to important posts in your journals. Leave me a cat macro. Take a picture of something unusual you found inside your friend's ear last weekend. Whatever. I really miss you all when I hide away. |
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Read 13 - Post |
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| Westwood! That's the way it goes down! POW POW POW! |
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| 04:20am 05/03/2008 |
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mood: floaty light music: Fleetwood Mac - The Chain
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inkipink kindly pointed out that the image in my last post (which, I might add, was the whole bloody point of the post) had gone away into interwebland, possibly never to be seen again. Well, I am now hosting the image at Photobucket, so all is good. So, have a good perv on this macro, mate.
I was flicking through the channels earlier, and I caught the very end of Pimp My Ride UK. Now, for any Americans reading this, you may have an entirely false impression of our version of this show. Yours is presented by Xzibit, it has attitude, there's lots of that American-style whooping and cheering, ghetto posing and complex handshakes. The mechanics exude Dangerous Cool from their every pore. Now, the UK version is rather different. For a start, it is presented by Tim Westwood: son of a bishop, public school educated, etc.. In fact, Charlie Brooker describes the whole thing wonderfully here:
The original Pimp My Ride is an American import in which a team of butch mechanics (under the aegis of rapper Xzibit) perform extreme makeovers on clapped-out automobiles. This British incarnation is exactly the same. Well, almost. Instead of Xzibit we're lumbered with the preposterous Tim Westwood, a white fortysomething son of a bishop whose interminable "wigga" stance inspired Ali G. Watching him in action is like watching a sequence in a crap Hollywood comedy in which Leslie Nielsen has to black up and infiltrate a record label.
The British mechanics aren't as convincing as their American counterparts either. In the US version, they look like a gang of Death Row inmates crossed with a group of surfers - all tattoos and cool attitude. The British mechanics look like... well, like British mechanics - apart from their hairstyles, which are suspiciously modern. I suspect they've been "pimped" themselves by a team of stylists, although the end result leaves them resembling the cast of EastEnders circa 2019 AD.
Anyway, on to the point of this post. At the end of the show, the guy whose "ride" had been "pimped" (a bit of me died inside when I typed that - I'm British) looked at his elaborately, pointlessly, indisputably camped-up, vomit-green monstrosity of a car, and said, "Well, it's better than how it was." Tim Westwood looked at him and replied, "It's better than your mum." That has to be one of the best comebacks I have ever heard. Fantastic. I intend to use that one as frequently as possible.
"Mm, s'pose this sandwich is alright."
"It's better than your mum."
Genius. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Earthquake! |
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| 04:00am 27/02/2008 |
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mood: high music: Malvina Reynolds - Little Boxes
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So, come one, who felt the earthquake? I have never felt one that strong before. It was really, erm, shaky (for UK standards) here in Manchester. I thought someone had nuked Salford. At the time, Craig and I were in bed watching the fantastic Weeds series 2, smoking a joint and eating weed-laced chocolate popcorn. We were understandably rather relaxed and very much not prepared for such an event, which in a way made it all the more exciting. I know it scared the fuck out of some of my friends, though. We're a few floors up in this flat so it felt quite unsteady, but I know a few people who live in high-rise flats. I really thought the pot we had was much stronger than I'd expected when the windows first started to rattle.
I bet the UK news will go mad about it tomorrow. As per usual, every local network will interview the same idiotic, bumbling "average member of the public" tosspots who were out walking their dog or spying on their neighbours at the time of the quake, and they'll doubtless witter on about how it gave them a bit of a dodgy feeling in their tummy and put them off their Cheesy Wotsits for ten minutes, and how they will now really empathise with the people of California next time their houses collapse during a proper earthquake.
Anyway, it was pretty bloody cool, no?
Official info about this quake |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| Vivisection and Andrew Collins |
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| 10:23am 05/02/2008 |
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mood: thoughtful music: Duffy - Mercy (in my little head)
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Firstly, I'd like to state that Andrew Collins does not conduct vivisection in his spare time. I've just spent the last hour thinking carefully about my reply to this entry in his blog, so I thought I'd re-post it here.
( Vivisection and Andrew Collins ) |
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hysterical
hungry